Neuroscientist Chris Lee joins me to break down what’s really happening in the brain when someone pulls away, shuts down, or spirals. We cover avoidance as a regulation strategy, why anxious activation hits so hard, and how state–story–strategy explains your patterns better than any TikTok soundbite. If you struggle with mixed signals, overthinking, or reacting fast in dating, this episode gives you clear, science-backed answers. We also get into emotional availability, communication during conflict, and how to create safety without overfunctioning. You’ll learn how to recognize your patterns, rebuild trust in yourself, and stop taking someone else’s regulation personally. Whether you’re dating or partnered, this conversation helps you understand connection with far more clarity. Follow Chris on IG! https://www.instagram.com/drchrislee/ Learn more: https://www.drchrislee.com/ If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step https://www.sabrinazohar.com/foundation-course-v2 Don't miss a video! Subscribe NOW: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSKQduzS78E6-I9tx0jqjpw?sub_confirmation=1 ABOUT SABRINA ZOHAR: Sabrina Zohar is a dynamic entrepreneur, relationship coach, and host of the hit podcast The Sabrina Zohar Show. With over a million followers on both Instagram and TikTok, along with a thriving online community, Sabrina is known for her honest, relatable approach to modern dating, relationships, and self-growth. After launching her sustainable clothing brand SoftWear, Sabrina’s journey took a transformative turn when she began sharing her personal experiences with dating and emotional wellness online. Her real talk quickly resonated, earning her features in outlets like NBC, The LA Times, The Tamron Hall Show and Vogue. Through online courses, one-on-one coaching, and candid conversations, Sabrina empowers her audience to “do the work” and create lasting change in their relationships-with others and themselves. FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar/ Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesabrinazoharshow/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar? Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-sabrina-zohar-show/id1668235178 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Dsp24A82JkYRXytiA2qRt Website:https://www.sabrinazohar.com/ ============================= Chapters 0:00 Intro 1:00 Why Avoidants Pull Away 4:00 State–Story–Strategy Explained 7:00 What Triggers Actually Are in the Brain 10:00 Why Safe Partners Trigger You More 13:00 Avoidant vs Anxious Responses 16:00 Limerence, Dopamine & Obsession 19:00 Overthinking Through a Neuroscience Lens 23:00 How to Repair Conflict Effectively 27:00 Emotional Availability: What It Really Means 31:00 Codependency & Overfunctioning 35:00 Boundary Setting Without Punishing 39:00 How to Talk to an Avoidant Partner 43:00 When It’s Time to Walk Away 47:00 Building New Patterns & Self-Trust 52:00 Listener Q&A 55:00 Final Takeaways Copyright Notice: This video and my YouTube channel contain dialogue, music, and images that are property of SABRINA ZOHAR. You are authorized to share the video link and channel, and embed this video in your website or others as long as a link back to my Youtube Channel is provided. © SABRINA ZOHAR 2025 Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formally known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. What's Actually Happening In An Avoidant's Brain When They Pull Away W/ Chris Lee | Sabrina Zohar https://youtu.be/va0Mk0cmI6Y