You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon. Today, I am talking to Robert Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, and co-founder of the Lifespan Research Foundation. Dr. Waldinger received his AB from Harvard College and his MD from Harvard Medical School. Dr. Waldinger is a practicing psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, and he directs a psychotherapy teaching program for Harvard psychiatry residents. He's also a zen master and teaches meditation in New England and around the world. And he is the co-author of the book, The Good Life: Lessons From the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness. Robert shares his expertise on adult happiness. We go back and forth with our thoughts on the effects of chronically stressful relationships on our physical body as well as our mental and emotional health, why we should stop minding what people think about us and instead start checking in with ourselves, and the pros and cons of engaging in personal development and being open to changes. What We Discuss: 00:00:00 Intro 00:03:23 The pros and cons of remote conversations 00:05:16 This 75-Year Harvard Study 00:13:10 The three flavors of happiness 00:17:45 Turn to activities that are enlivening 00:20:18 We’re not trained to look inward 00:26:23 Take note of the things that are evolving 00:35:32 When you’re living with people that causes you stress 00:40:14 Active re-imagining of life from a different time 00:47:03 Chronically stressful relationships break down the body 00:53:30 Looking at the long view when dealing with relationships 01:01:00 Socio-emotional learning 01:02:57 How do we keep our relationships in shape? 01:06:02 Security of attachment for introverts and extroverts