Today we're diving deep into a topic you've been requesting since Dear Shandy's earliest days: Enmeshment. We're joined by psychotherapist Alyssa Mancao to define this dynamic, how to navigate it, and when and how to set boundaries. This conversation also spawns a lot of interesting tangents on subtopics ranging from culture norms to differentiating between irritation and impairment. Alyssa Mancao is a psychotherapist and the founder of Alyssa Marie Wellness, a therapy practice in Los Angeles. She is a writer, speaker, and educator focused on Social Justice & Mental Health. Her writing has been featured in Huffington Post, Elle, Women’s Health, Oprah Magazine, and Re-Spin, among many others. Thanks to our sponsor! - Go to https://www.hellotushy.com/SHANDY for 10% off plus free shipping! More Alyssa Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/alyssamariewellness 0:00 - Welcome To Psychotherapist Alyssa Mancao! 1:58 - Is Enmeshment A Common Issue? 2:43 - What Is Enmeshment, Emotional Incest, Codependency? 4:18 - Enmeshment And Attachment Styles 5:30 - What Are The Most Common Enmeshed Dynamics? 6:47 - Are There Common Themes In Terms Of Age, Gender, Culture? 7:43 - If It's Culturally Normal And All Parties Are OK With An Enmeshed Dynamic, Is It Still Unhealthy? 10:30 - How To Distinguish Between Enmeshment And Connection 13:02 - How To Navigate Guilt When Setting Boundaries 15:29 - When It's Not A Clear Right/Wrong Scenario, Should One Side With Their Partner Or Their Family? 18:26 - What A Healthy Dynamics Between An Adult Child And Their Parent Looks Like 19:53 - How To Embark On Setting Boundaries 26:27 - At What Point Do You Change What Has Become "Normal"? 30:10 - Patterns In Enmeshed Parents 32:08 - When Grief Is Involved 36:19 - If Your Partner's Parent Is Enmeshed, How Should One Broach The Topic? 38:56 - If You Grew Up In A Codependent Environment, How To Change Habits Moving Forward? 42:14 - Where's The Line Between Accepting Someone Else's Culture And Maintaining Your Boundaries? 44:03 - What If The Enmeshed Party Threatens Self Harm Or Has Mental Health Struggles? 48:26 - Shandy's Takeaways Sharleen is wearing: - Sweater: https://bit.ly/2ZO6RWm If you have a relationship question, write us at: dearshandy@gmail.com Support Dear Shandy: https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations Subscribe - https://bit.ly/SubscribeDearShandy Listen on iTunes - https://bit.ly/DearShandyiTunes More Dear Shandy Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy Facebook - https://fb.me/dearshandy More Sharleen Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt Blog - http://www.alltheprettypandas.com More Andy Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine Produced by Gabrielle Galon - https://www.instagram.com/gabsamillion