Tara Herbert, born in Lake Charles, Louisiana, and adopted at age two by white Mormon parents from Utah, recounts her complex upbringing in a predominantly white and Mormon environment. Raised with four biological siblings, she navigates her identity as a black girl in Utah, where she initially struggles to recognize her racial difference. Despite feeling out of place, she engages with Mormonism deeply, experiencing conflicting emotions about her faith and cultural identity. Tara's journey evolves through high school, where she grapples with societal perceptions of blackness, sexuality, and Mormon teachings on race and gender roles. Her mission to Atlanta, Georgia, exposes her to systemic racism within the Mormon Church and the broader community, challenging her beliefs and sense of self. Despite enduring trauma and grappling with guilt and shame, Tara finds solace in her eventual marriage and motherhood, yet continues to confront the complexities of her Mormon upbringing and racial identity. Episode Show Notes: https://www.mormonstories.org/portfolio-items/mission-broke-me-tara-herbert/ Chapters: 00:00:00 Intro 00:02:05 She was born in Lake Charles, Louisiana, adopted at age two 00:07:40 Siblings in the home when she was adopted 00:09:30 Growing up in Utah 00:12:50 Her experiences with Genesis 00:14:50 Family rules in their Mormon home 00:19:00 Questions about her adoption as a child 00:23:35 She was adopted through LDS family services, it was closed 00:25:25 She loved her family, loved her upbringing 00:26:40 Growing up in Utah as a black girl 00:34:50 Sexuality in High School 00:40:00 Attending parties as a teenager - drugs, alcohol and sex are still present 00:49:44 In Mormonism women are not allowed any type of sexuality, just the men 00:53:56 She never confessed to her Mormon bishop, she hated bishops interviews 00:54:35 She confessed to a Catholic Priest instead 01:12:50 Mormon racist teachings 01:16:00 She carried an invisible weight for not knowing 01:17:35 Her virtue was placed above all else 01:24:14 She didn’t see people on the stand that were people of color 01:30:15 Her mission experience 01:34:50 She was called to Atlanta, Georgia 01:40:14 People in the streets tried to grab her and save her from Mormonism 01:41:10 Being exposed to racist teachings on her mission 01:52:37 Asking “Do we have the curse of Cain?” 02:02:40 She grew to hate the temple 02:08:05 How did she survive those days? 02:08:40 Segregation still existed in Georgia, except in the Mormon Church 02:13:09 Getting sick and having to go home for surgery; she didn't want to return 02:14:10 One of the returned missionaries committed suicide (until 21:50) 02:26:17 How her mission ended 02:33:10 Experiencing complex PTSD 02:43:45 Background of her husband 02:50:50 They married a year after dating, not a temple marriage 02:51:25 The Mormon Shame Parade 03:03:20 They got sealed with their baby in the temple Want to create live streams like this? Check out StreamYard: https://streamyard.com/pal/d/4530951114981376 (This is an affiliate link supporting Mormon Stories.) ___________________ At Mormon Stories we explore, celebrate, and challenge Mormon culture through in-depth stories told by members and former members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as well as scholars, authors, LDS apologists, and other professionals. Our overall mission is to: 1. Facilitate informed consent amongst LDS Church members, investigators, and non-members regarding Mormon history, doctrine, and theology 2. Support Mormons (and members of other high-demand religions) who are experiencing a religious faith crisis 3. Promote healing, growth and community for those who choose to leave the LDS Church or other high demand religions 🤝Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today One-time or recurring donations: https://donorbox.org/mormon-stories?default_interval=m Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mormonstories Venmo: https://account.venmo.com/u/mormonstories Paypal: https://paypal.me/mormonstories Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx6OgmoqJbOVRq-Lv1P7SzA/join Our Platforms: 🌐Mormon Stories Blog: https://www.mormonstories.org/episodes 🎙️Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mormonstories ✳️Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4sDzk7dRjODTSEqzZKZJzk?si=148b0efc1ccc4404&nd=1 🍎Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mormon-stories-lds/id312094772 🖼️Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mormstories 📱TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mormonstoriespodcast 🎮Discord: https://discord.com/invite/kuX5p6yyjF Contact us: 📧 MormonStories@gmail.com 📬PO Box 171085, Salt Lake City, UT 84117