Caroline Barrow was raised in a typical Mormon household in Louisiana. While she was a faithful believer in the Church, she always had questions about certain teachings but was often encouraged to halt her critical thinking on these issues. She chose to attend BYU and serve a Mormon mission, but continued to be plagued by questions—particularly around polygamy and the treatment of women in the LDS faith. Caroline also found herself struggling with scrupulosity, perfectionism, and the many pressures placed on women in the Church. Listen as she shares her story of how she confronted these questions and learned to trust herself and her instincts as an analytical woman within the Mormon faith. Show notes can be found on the Mormon Stories blog here: https://www.mormonstories.org/why-young-women-are-leaving-the-mormon-church/ Timecodes: 00:00:00 Introduction 00:02:56 Caroline’s upbringing in Louisiana 00:06:24 Was the church a good fit for her as a child? 00:09:25 Feeling shame around modesty 00:17:50 Sense of community among Members at her school 00:19:12 Questions around polygamy while in young womans 00:25:14 How her own critical thinking was shut down - is this gaslighting? 00:28:00 Did she keep asking questions after being shut down so much? 00:33:55 How was her Young Woman’s experience? 00:40:58 Discussing “The Family: A Proclamation to the World" 00:45:22 Discussing “scrupulosity” - when did she first notice it? 00:47:25 Deciding to attend BYU 01:01:07 Attending BYU - Fall 2018 01:06:38 Questions of polygamy in the afterlife and issues with the Brad Wilcox TikTok 01:18:20 Explaining the option between being married or alone in heaven 01:27:16 Did she share with anyone how she was feeling? 01:32:10 Caroline served a mission 01:45:11 There was a heavy emphasis on numbers in her mission 01:57:22 Dramatic increase in mental illness among Mormon missionaries and being sent home early 02:02:27 What was her temple experience like? 02:14:46 Feeling wrong in the pinnacle place (the temple) 02:20:58 Her final (and problematic) interview with her mission president 02:27:21 Her other interview was not a positive experience either 02:36:32 Dating at BYU 02:45:00 Issues with Heavenly Mother 02:59:31 Her experiences at BYU and discovering she has religious scrupulosity 03:08:02 She struggled with garments and they brought her rage 03:11:03 Learning about cults and how they regulate the information that the members are allowed to consume 03:13:52 She went to a doctor and received medication for depression/anxiety 03:16:43 Problems with the Book of Mormon 03:21:34 There is a reason that they don’t tell the full story 03:25:20 As early as 1912 the church leaders KNEW the problems 03:27:21 What did she do after she lost her faith at BYU? 03:29:39 Telling her parents she had lost her faith 03:33:24 How has she rebuilt, grieved, healed? 03:38:29 Has she practiced listening to her inner voice? 03:43:32 She has felt defensive of Mormons ___________________ At Mormon Stories we explore, celebrate, and challenge Mormon culture through in-depth stories told by members and former members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as well as scholars, authors, LDS apologists, and other professionals. Our overall mission is to: 1. Facilitate informed consent amongst LDS Church members, investigators, and non-members regarding Mormon history, doctrine, and theology 2. Support Mormons (and members of other high-demand religions) who are experiencing a religious faith crisis 3. Promote healing, growth and community for those who choose to leave the LDS Church or other high demand religions 🤝Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today One-time or recurring donations: https://donorbox.org/mormon-stories?default_interval=m Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mormonstories Venmo: https://account.venmo.com/u/mormonstories Paypal: https://paypal.me/mormonstories Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx6OgmoqJbOVRq-Lv1P7SzA/join Our Platforms: 🌐Mormon Stories Blog: https://www.mormonstories.org/episodes 🎙️Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mormonstories ✳️Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4sDzk7dRjODTSEqzZKZJzk?si=148b0efc1ccc4404&nd=1 🍎Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mormon-stories-lds/id312094772 🖼️Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mormstories 📱TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mormonstoriespodcast 🎮Discord: https://discord.com/invite/kuX5p6yyjF Contact us: 📧 MormonStories@gmail.com 📬PO Box 171085, Salt Lake City, UT 84117