Content warning: Self-harm Join Lance and Brandee Heppler as they share their personal journeys in Mormonism and delve into mental health challenges they faced as they tried to be good Mormon parents. Lance talks about his orthodox upbringing in Oregon, his mission in South Carolina, and his panic of finding someone to marry before graduating from BYU. Meanwhile, Brandee struggles with feeling she doesn't "fit in" in at church due in part to her parents being converts and her undiagnosed ADHD, making her wonder why it seemed God made her too "rowdy" as a woman instead of more subdued and "proper". Together they navigate the traditional gender roles expected of them as a married couple in the church while raising young children and serving in various callings. As they grapple with issues such as feminism and LGBTQ issues in the church, they also confront their own mental health struggles and the lack of support from the Mormon community. They share powerful insights about the often-transactional nature of Mormon relationships and the harmful effects that come from some teachings that associate mental health struggles with sin. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking a deeper understanding of the challenges faced by those raised in Mormonism and the impact it can have on mental health. Episode Show Notes: https://www.mormonstories.org/podcast/lance-brandee-heppler/ Lance & Brandee Playlist: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxq5opj6GqOAN8kfy1gSqT9UenLw2w5iG CHAPTERS: 00:00:00 Intro & Intentions 00:04:30 Lance’s orthodox family, incl. a foster sister from the LDS "Indian Placement Program" 00:14:00 Testimony building experience around the Word of Wisdome (Mormon Health Code) 00:18:15 BYU and getting disappointing mission call to South Carolina 00:25:30 Mission experiences 00:27:00 Back at BYU: Bachelor friendships & Senior panic that he wouldn’t marry before graduating 00:29:00 Brandee is raised by convert parents, feels like a 2nd-class Mormon 00:34:30 “Mouthy” women and Mormon patriarchy. 00:47:30 Fear of alcoholism dating outside the Church 00:48:30 Ambitions for College, career & mission 00:50:00 Mission - Manchester England 00:52:10 Elder Holland broke the pulpit on her mission - missionaries “weren’t worth a teaspoon of camel spit” 00:58:00 The idea that you need Mormonism to have morality and happy families 01:08:15 Lance & Brandee meet & marry 01:11:15 Men always want to be high-leaders, women want to be the wives of those positions 01:14:00 Lance & Brandee discuss how women and sex are viewed. 01:20:00 Brandee's concern over potential future daughters to be shamed about sex etc. 01:22:00 The immediately have children w/ Lance in Dental school 01:28:00 Issues over callings, gender roles, LGBTQ, can't speak up 01:38:15 “Softening” of orthodoxy. Cracks developing 01:42:45 Lance keeps up appearances of full church participation 01:44:00 Kids are a reflection of your perfection & parenting skills 01:48:00 Brandee’s mental health declines 01:54:00 Lack of support & other issues for Mormons w/ mental health struggles 02:06:00 Trying to use the gospel to treat bipolar 02:10:00 Self-harm leads to a program that gets Brandee the help she needs ___________________ At Mormon Stories we explore, celebrate, and challenge Mormon culture through in-depth stories told by members and former members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as well as scholars, authors, LDS apologists, and other professionals. Our overall mission is to: 1. Facilitate informed consent amongst LDS Church members, investigators, and non-members regarding Mormon history, doctrine, and theology 2. Support Mormons (and members of other high-demand religions) who are experiencing a religious faith crisis 3. Promote healing, growth and community for those who choose to leave the LDS Church or other high demand religions 🤝Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today One-time or recurring donations: https://donorbox.org/mormon-stories?default_interval=m Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mormonstories Our Platforms: 🌐Mormon Stories Blog: https://www.mormonstories.org/episodes 🎙️Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mormonstories ✳️Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4sDzk7dRjODTSEqzZKZJzk?si=148b0efc1ccc4404&nd=1 🍎Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mormon-stories-lds/id312094772 🖼️Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mormstories 📱TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mormonstoriespodcast 🎮Discord: https://discord.com/invite/kuX5p6yyjF Contact us: 📧 MormonStories@gmail.com 📬PO Box 171085, Salt Lake City, UT 84117 #MormonStories #Mormon #lds