Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Ella, a young woman who as an infant, was abandoned at a bus stop under China's one child law. Feeling stuck? BetterHelp makes therapy simple, with 10% off your first month to help you get started: https://www.betterhelp.com/softwhiteunderbelly (Sponsored by BetterHelp) Here’s a link to the book I mentioned in this interview: https://a.co/d/8X1APZ9 0:01 Adoption and Early Abandonment 1:03 Processing Her Adoption Story 2:42 Life with Two Moms 3:03 Early Depression 4:38 Rage, Isolation, and Psychiatric Treatment 6:35 BetterHelp Ad 7:49 Eye-Opening Psychiatric Hospital Experience 10:06 Overdose 11:22 The Wilderness Program 16:12 Guilt, Comparison, and Processing Trauma 17:18 Borderline Diagnosis and Identity Loss 23:08 Pain of Adoption 33:38 Selfishness, Empathy, and Bonding in Pain 41:24 Fear of Hell 43:04 Embracing the Unknown 52:01 Attachment, Love, and Relationship Struggles 57:02 Artistic Identity 58:02 Depression as a Gift 1:00:05 Staying Busy 1:11:46 Wanting to Feel Again 1:21:00 Closing Remarks For ad-free, uncensored videos and plenty of exclusive content please subscribe to the Soft White Underbelly subscription channel at softwhiteunderbelly.com. It's $10 a month and watchable on Apple and Android mobile apps, Roku TV, Apple TV and Amazon Fire. Here's how to purchase the Soft White Underbelly books and merch: https://softwhiteunderbelly.org. #swu #isolation #softwhiteunderbelly #depression #guilt #documentary #onechildpolicy #marklaita #adoption #life #mentalhealth #abandoned #enneagram #enneagram4