Today's Hot Topic conversation is great for just about anybody, but *especially* those who have considered therapy but haven't pulled the trigger for whatever reason (accessibility, cost, finding the right match...)! Our guest, Owen O'Kane, is an acclaimed London-based psychotherapist and the best selling author of Ten Times Happier, Ten to Zen, and most recently, How To Be Your Own Therapist. But that's not all! Before pursuing psychotherapy, Owen spent a decade working with the dying as a Clinical Nurse Specialist in Palliative Care, which we think adds a unique dimension to his perspective. Needless to say, he is abundantly qualified to help us tackle the journey of self-therapy today! Today, beyond sharing his own personal story of self acceptance, Owen discusses what drives us, victim mentality, gratitude, tips for handling our anxious episodes, what 10 minutes of self therapy a day looks like, and what "The Goal" of therapy even is (happiness? meaning??). Last but not least, Andy picks Owen's brain after his experience working in Palliative Care—what did caring for the dying on a daily basis teach him? This episode has a little something for everyone and even includes a peek into Andy's own thoughts and fears. Whether you consider "therapy" a dirty word or part of your regular vernacular, you won't want to miss this chat! Thanks to our sponsors! - Go to https://www.babbel.com/DEARSHANDY to save up to 55% off your subscription! - Go to https://www.lomi.com/SHANDY and use promo code SHANDY at checkout to save $50! - Go to https://www.nutrafol.com and use code SHANDY for $10 off your first month's subscription! - Go to https://www.athenaclub.com and use code DEARSHANDY for 25% off your first order! More Owen: - The Book "How To Be Your Own Therapist": https://amzn.to/3NnIpzS - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/owenokaneten - TEDX Talk: https://youtu.be/SenbZnxn_N8 - Website: https://www.owenokane.com Time Stamps: 0:00 - Welcome To Owen O’Kane! 1:54 - Is The UK Behind The US In Terms Of Therapy “Taboo”? 4:32 - Owen’s Story, Part 1 7:10 - What’s “The Goal”? Is It Happiness? 8:49 - What Drives Us? 11:09 - Owen's Story, Part 2 16:24 - Our Thought Process 25:35 - Where Does One Begin With Self Therapy? 28:35 - Do Some Personality Types Struggle More With Self Therapy Than Others? 31:23 - Victim Mentality 33:42 - What Does 10 Minutes A Day Of Self Therapy Look Like? 36:51 - Gratitude And Fear Of Loss 43:18 - Advice For Anyone Who’s Been in Therapy For A Long Time And Isn’t Seeing A Difference 49:05 - Tips For Those Who Experience Anxious Episodes 55:50 - Our Phones 1:00:07 - Andy Asks Owen For His Takeaways After A Decade Spent In Palliative Care 1:07:09 - Shandy Debrief If you have a relationship question, write us at: dearshandy@gmail.com Support Dear Shandy: https://redcircle.com/dear-shandy/donations Subscribe - https://bit.ly/SubscribeDearShandy Listen on iTunes - https://bit.ly/DearShandyiTunes More Dear Shandy Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dearshandy Facebook - https://fb.me/dearshandy More Sharleen Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sharleenjoynt Blog - http://www.alltheprettypandas.com More Andy Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/machinelevine Produced by Gabrielle Galon - https://www.instagram.com/gabsamillion #therapy #mentalhealth #selfcare #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #psychology #health #therapist #trauma #psychotherapy #relationshipadvice