Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Ryan, a cocaine addict in Alabama. Subscribe through my link https://ground.news/swu or download the mobile app and enter promo code SWU to save 40% off their Vantage plan. For ad-free, uncensored videos and plenty of exclusive content please subscribe to the Soft White Underbelly subscription channel at https://softwhiteunderbelly.com. It's $10 a month and watchable on Apple and Android mobile apps, Roku TV, Apple TV and Amazon Fire. 0:01 – Searching For Self Worth 0:44 – Childhood, Divorce, And Family Identity 2:28 – Religious Upbringing 3:41 – His Parents’ Past 4:33 – Ground News Sponsorship 6:04 – Early Abuse 7:17 – First Drug Use 8:01 – Cocaine In Kitchen Culture 9:10 – Marriage, Separation, And Relapse 15:15 – Mental Deterioration 17:45 – Lithium, Job Loss, And Emotional Collapse 23:48 – Shame And Feeling Like A Misfit 26:29 – Hopelessness And Lack Of Direction 29:00 – Cocaine’s Illusion 32:30 – Wanting Change 34:05 – Physical Consequences Of Use 41:32 – Suicidal Thoughts And Choosing To Live Here's how to purchase the Soft White Underbelly books and merch: https://softwhiteunderbelly.org. #swu #softwhiteunderbelly #documentary #marklaita #addictionstruggles #addicted #alabama #soberliving #recoveryjourney #addictionrecovery #lovingyourself