Ready to begin or deepen your meditation practice? Join Dan Harris and world-class meditation teachers on the 10% with Dan Harris app here: https://app.danharris.com/membership Every time you talk to someone different from you — your boss, your kid's teacher, a colleague half your age, a barista from a different background — there's a low hum running underneath the interaction. Am I being seen for who I really am, or for the stereotypes attached to my group? Will I say the wrong thing? Our guest has a name for that hum, and it turns out the people on the OTHER side of the interaction are running it too. Claude M. Steele is a professor of psychology at Stanford University, one of the most influential social psychologists alive, and the author of a new book called Churn: The Tension That Divides Us and How to Overcome It. In this episode: – What "churn" actually is — and why it's not the same as prejudice or bias – Whether privilege protects you (the short answer: kind of, but not the way you think) – The parent-teacher conference where BOTH sides are in churn — and why that matters – What happens to your brain in churn (prefrontal cortex down, amygdala up) – Stereotype threat — Steele's famous research on women, math, and high-stakes performance – Dan's awkwardly relatable age-churn around tech-savvy younger colleagues – Where the word "wise" comes from in this context (it's a 1950s gay San Francisco term) – Trust in the face of power — and the case that the powerful person has to go first – The civil rights sit-ins as a masterclass in asserting trust from the less-powerful side – A simple disarming move you can use in any high-stakes conversation – Steele's three-step framework for building trust: Seeing, Welcoming, and Supporting – Why "helping" is the single most powerful trust-building move Subscribe to watch more 10% Happier videos: https://www.youtube.com/tenpercenthappier Follow Dan Harris on Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/danharris/ https://www.tiktok.com/@danbharris https://www.facebook.com/DanHarrisABC https://twitter.com/danbharris https://www.linkedin.com/in/dan-harris-91ba5716b/ 0:00:00 What "churn" actually is 0:04:00 Does privilege protect you from churn? 0:06:00 Churn shows up across any line of difference 0:08:00 The parent-teacher conference where BOTH parties are in churn 0:11:00 What churn does to your brain 0:13:00 Psychological safety, prefrontal cortex, and the amygdala 0:15:00 Stereotype threat and women in math 0:18:00 Dan's age-churn around tech-savvy younger colleagues 0:25:00 Trust building as the antidote 0:28:00 Where "wise" comes from (1950s gay San Francisco) 0:33:00 Trust in the face of power — who goes first? 0:38:00 Naming what's happening in real time — the disarming move 0:40:00 The three-step framework: Seeing, Welcoming, Supporting 0:41:00 The actor's perspective vs. the observer's 0:47:00 Helping — the most powerful trust-building move #10PercentHappier #ClaudeSteele #churn This episode is brought to you by Function. Function gives you 160+ lab tests a year for about a dollar a day, including cardiovascular markers most standard physicals don't check — ApoB, Lp(a), hsCRP, and more. Check your health the way Dan does. Join at https://www.functionhealth.com/happier or use the gift code HAPPIER25 for a $25 credit toward your membership. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over six million people globally. Therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US. Sign up and get 10% off at https://www.betterhelp.com/happier. This episode is brought to you by Wix. Wix Harmony is Wix's flagship AI website builder — just describe your idea and get a fully functional site built for you, with built-in solutions for e-commerce, restaurants, services, and more. Every site is backed by 99.99% uptime and enterprise-grade security. Get started at https://www.wix.com/harmony. This episode is brought to you by IQBAR, our exclusive snack sponsor. IQBARs are clean plant protein bars packed with fiber and brain-boosting nutrients, with zero added sugar. They're free from gluten, dairy, soy, GMOs, and artificial sweeteners. Text DAN to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus free shipping. Message and data rates may apply. This episode is brought to you by Gusto. Gusto is the all-in-one online payroll and benefits software built for small businesses — automatic tax filing, direct deposit, health benefits, 401(k), and more, all from anywhere. Get three months free when you run your first payroll at https://gusto.com/happier.