If you've ever lost interest the moment someone became available, or stayed obsessed with someone who kept you at arm's length, this episode is for you. Part three of the Hard Truth Series breaks down the most common pattern nobody wants to admit: using relationships to collect proof of your worth instead of building real partnership. Backed by research on rejection sensitivity and anxious attachment, Sabrina unpacks why chasing external validation creates a cycle no amount of love can fix, how to tell if you are dating for connection or reassurance, and what it actually takes to stop performing and start showing up. If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step https://foundation.sabrinazohar.com/foundation If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself. https://slow.sabrinazohar.com/ Get ad free audio and video: https://sz.supercast.com/ Don't miss a video! Subscribe NOW: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSKQduzS78E6-I9tx0jqjpw?sub_confirmation=1 Support the show by supporting our sponsors: Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $5 bonus investment. Head to https://⁠acorns.com/ZOHAR⁠ or download the Acorns app to get started. Right now, Momentous is offering our listeners up to 35% off your first order with promo code SABRINA. Head to https://⁠livemomentous.com ABOUT SABRINA ZOHAR: Sabrina Zohar is a dynamic entrepreneur, relationship coach, and host of the hit podcast The Sabrina Zohar Show. With over a million followers on both Instagram and TikTok, along with a thriving online community, Sabrina is known for her honest, relatable approach to modern dating, relationships, and self-growth. After launching her sustainable clothing brand SoftWear, Sabrina’s journey took a transformative turn when she began sharing her personal experiences with dating and emotional wellness online. Her real talk quickly resonated, earning her features in outlets like NBC, The LA Times, The Tamron Hall Show and Vogue. Through online courses, one-on-one coaching, and candid conversations, Sabrina empowers her audience to “do the work” and create lasting change in their relationships-with others and themselves. FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar/ Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesabrinazoharshow/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar? Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-sabrina-zohar-show/id1668235178 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Dsp24A82JkYRXytiA2qRt Website:https://www.sabrinazohar.com/ ============================= Chapters 00:00 Dating for Validation vs Partnership 03:17 Why You're Not Ready for Real Love 07:00 Proof Seeking vs Building Partnership 10:37 Rejection and Self-Worth 15:00 Core Beliefs and the Validation Trap 19:00 Why External Validation Never Fills the Void 23:35 The Research Behind Approval Seeking 26:28 What Validation Dating Actually Costs You 29:21 Are You Performing or Showing Up 32:10 The Validation Check Tool of the Week Copyright Notice: This video and my YouTube channel contain dialogue, music, and images that are property of SABRINA ZOHAR. You are authorized to share the video link and channel, and embed this video in your website or others as long as a link back to my Youtube Channel is provided. © SABRINA ZOHAR 2025 Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formally known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Do You Want Love Or Do You Want to Be Picked So You Feel Worthy? | Sabrina Zohar https://youtu.be/hiOkhqAy7jM